Lesson 26

This chap went for a job as a chef. By way of an interview, the head chef told him to make an onion omelette.

So the guy throws two onions up in the air and chops them up mid air with the skins going into the bucket and the finely chopped onion into the hot pan on the hob. He then throws six eggs into the air, whisks them, again, in the air with the shells dropping into the bucket and the beaten eggs caught in the pan with a little salt and pepper skilfully added. With one quick toss, the omelette it is out of the pan and onto a plate.

i
“One onion omelette, chef!”

i
The other chefs watching this masterclass of a display, in disbelief, give the interviewee a round of applause.

i
“So, do I get the job?” asks the interviewee, smiling.
“No!” says the head chef.
“Why not?” the guy asks.
“You fuck about too much!”

Unfortunately, many artists think that the fucking about bit is the art, while in reality it is the omelette that is the art.

The phrase “there’s too much icing on the cake” recognises and is critical of paintings that have extraneous ornamentation that masks the real intent of the painting; it is a plea for elegance and economy of means, as opposed to the use of redundant decoration, superfluous mannerisms and stylistic exorbitance. Some artists have difficulty getting to the point of what the painting might really be about because they rely on mannerisms and gimmicks. It is important to remove all unnecessary extravagant excesses that only serve to hide and trivialise what might be underneath a serious painting of some interest.